It was the summer of 1991 when my parents and I took our usual vacation to Martha’s Vineyard. I always enjoyed going down to the beach in Oak Bluffs known as the Ink Well, where African Americans enjoy visiting.

AS I was strolling along enjoying the water, I saw 2 people playing a board game. Being a little nosy, I walked closer and saw a guy and a girl Playing chess.

Chess was my game. I had played since I was in eighth grade and had studied books on chess in college. I had even competed in tournaments. In my mind, I was a pretty darn good chess player.

So, back to the game I was watching on the beach. I saw the woman win the game and noticed the young man walked away in disgust because he lost. Here was my chance. I introduce myself and asked the woman her name. She was Gloria from Queens, New York.

Gloria asked me if I wanted to play a game of chess. I accepted her challenge. We began to play, but I had a hard time concentrating on the game. I kept noticing how pretty she was. It was so hard to keep track of the chess pieces and where they were supposed to move. Once, as I looked at my watch, I heard her say, “Checkmate!” The game was over, and she had bested me. 

We are usually taught in America that chess is a man’s game as women prefer cards, but Gloria was (and still is) an excellent chess player. When we returned from vacation, we met weekly to play chess together. That day on the beach, she won the game, but I won her heart, and she agreed to marry me. This was indeed the best chess game I ever lost!

I am a black man with cerebral palsy who is also a physician. Thus, over the years, people have told me I am an inspiration. They say this because they know how hard it was for me to overcome several obstacles including physical challenges and the grinding education to become a doctor.

I have spastic fingers and legs as well as difficulty speaking, dressing and walking—all due to my cerebral palsy.

But I am a doctor and in America; and doctors here are known to have poor penmanship.

So, when people see me, they say, ”Dr Pone, you are such an Inspiration. Look what you have accomplished.” Then, after viewing my penmanship (often in the next sentence), they exclaim, “Dr Pone, your handwriting is horrible! You doctors have terrible handwriting.”

So, I get blessed for overcoming cerebral palsy and becoming a doctor, but a few minutes later, I am cursed for having the same disease because it causes poor penmanship.   Most people simply don’t realize my poor penmanship is due to having spastic fingers from cerebral palsy, which is a big part of why I inspire them in the first place.  They never think to ask if my poor penmanship is due to having cerebral palsy.

*sigh* Handwriting insults are the worst.

When have you been blessed and cursed for the same action?

When I was a kid, I wore braces on both legs to help me walk. This could be tricky at times, and I would occasionally fall down.

When I was about ten years old, my parents enrolled me in a group of children my age. We regularly enjoyed social activities together such as bowling, going for ice cream,  visiting an amusement park etc.

At one of these activities, my braces tripped me up and I hit the ground. When this happened, A group of about six or seven little girls came running over screaming,  “Darrell, are you all right?”

I was fine, but I let them help me get up. Then I decided to experiment.

I developed a hypothesis:  I fall down, girls run over to help me.

The next time I was at one of our social gatherings, I saw 3 pretty girls and decided to test my idea. I Fell Down by accident (If you know what I mean), and sure enough, all the girls ran over to me again. I had officially figured out how to get girls—until my mother noticed what I was doing and spoiled the fun by telling the girls that I could get up by myself. I know my mother was right, but I sure missed having that extra attention and sympathy from those girls.

When did you use a hidden trick to obtain one of your goals? How long did the trick work? Leave a comment and share your story with me.